somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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