all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize