dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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