Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize