worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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