you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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