and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
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At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
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Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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