Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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