I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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