haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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