And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just high enough for therapy.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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