Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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