I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize