she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize