I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
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