i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
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when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
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I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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