So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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