Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize