We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everclear isn't food dammit
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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