singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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