look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
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How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
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Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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