Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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