You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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