Non-Jews are for practice
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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