just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
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I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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