What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize