Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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