Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
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Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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