We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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