I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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