There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
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You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
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You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Randomize