morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you would pick up someone in the library
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
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we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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