Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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