Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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