I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I touched a dick in church today
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