We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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