After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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