Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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