I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize