i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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