Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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