yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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