She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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