I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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