I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
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You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
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He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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