final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
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The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
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I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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