All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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