I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize