just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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