what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
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I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
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the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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