Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
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no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
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Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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