would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize